Mai Ka Wa Kahiko
by lilballerette10
Summary: My version of the Rick Peterson episode. What if Danny wasn't told to shoot Stan...what if he was told to shoot Steve instead...
1. A Life for a Life

**So I know I'm supposed to be working on Part 2 to my other story and I promise I will really soon. I've just been re-watching the first few seasons of Hawaii Five-0 and this idea popped into my head and I had to go with it. Should be done in 3 chapters! This is my version of the Peterson episode, some of the beginning is word for word from the episode, but then the rest is my story. Enjoy :)**

 **Chapter 1**

"I really wish things were different, I really do," Danny was trying to get through to Rick anyway possible.

"So do I. Uncuff yourself."

Danny took the keys and did as he was told.

"Alright drive."

Rick still had his gun trained on Danny.

"What are you doing?"

Rick looked down as if contemplating his answer.

"Making things different."

* * *

Danny watched from the corner of his eye as Rick scrolled through the contact list on his phone and swallowed the lump in his throat when he realized what number Rick landed on.

"What the hell are you doing?" the fear in Danny's voice was evident as he knew whatever Rick wanted with Steve; it wasn't going to be good.

"Take the phone; tell Steve you need to meet him in the alley on Kahala and Manoa. Tell him to come alone or Grace is dead."

"Hold on just wait," Danny had a feeling where this was going and as much as he was trying to hide it from Rick, the fear and anxiety was slowly taking over.

"Would you stop arguing with me and get on the phone," Rick yelled as he pointed the gun at Danny's head.

Breathing heavily, Danny was praying that by some grace of god, Steve for some reason or another didn't have his phone on him. His heart sank the moment he heard his partner's concerned voice on the other end.

"Danny!"

"Steve, listen I need you to meet me in the alley on Kahala and Manoa...and please don't bring Kono or Chin, Grace's life depends on it."

* * *

Danny pulled up to the alley and turned off the engines.

"See that trash can over there, there's a gun taped inside. Go get it and go meet Steve at the corner over there," Rick was using his gun to point to an area to their left.

"Rick...Rick would you please just listen to me for one second okay," this was it, it was now or never, he had to get through to Rick, because the alternative was not an option.

"Stop whining, please. Put this on," Rick handed Danny an ear piece. "And when you get out, if you so much as look around, start to run away, deviate from anything I tell you to do, I swear to god the little girl dies and it's going to be your fault."

"Why are you doing this Rick," Danny hated how shaky his voice sounded. "Why are you doing this, this is about you and this is about me, this is not about Grace and this is not about Steve, why are you doing this!" Danny was frantic, he needed to get through to Rick, he needed to stop this, now.

"I want you to pull the trigger when you see him, I want a shot straight into his chest, I want him to bleed out slowly from the inside out, suffocating on his own blood. I'm going to be in a building above, I'll be able to see everything, so you better shoot him exactly the way I just described it or I swear to god I will kill your baby girl."

Danny felt like he couldn't breathe. How was he supposed to do this, how was he supposed to shoot someone who had come to mean so much to him over the past two years, the one person he has been able to count on more than anyone else, the one person who has always been there for him at the drop of a hat, the one constant in his life besides his beautiful little girl.

"I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to kill my partner, I'm not killing Steve. Rick, c'mon this is insane."

"I don't care if you don't want to do it; you're going to do it."

"What do you think this is going to do Rick, what do you think this is going to do, I'm going to go to prison? Huh? You think I'm going to go to prison for murder under duress?" Danny was hysterical and on the verge of a panic attack, there was no hiding the utter devastation in his voice anymore. He couldn't do what Rick was asking him to do, he couldn't, he wouldn't kill Steve.

"I don't care if you go to prison," Rick looked at Danny maliciously. "I want you to suffer, the same way I've been suffering since you locked me up, and this is the best way to do it. I've done my research, I know what your partner means to you, I know how close you two are, how you consider him family. So you're going to lose someone who means a whole lot to you, you're going to lose your brother, and I am going to enjoy watching it happen. Now enough talking, get out!"

"Rick will you just lis-"

"GET OUT OF THE CAR D! Don't make me ask you again! I swear to god I will kill her, you have 5 seconds to GET OUT OF THE DAMN CAR!"

Danny's shaking as he stumbles out of the car. Grace. Rick has Grace. Danny has to keep telling himself that in order to make the painstaking walk over to the dumpster to retrieve the gun he's going to have to shoot Steve with.

As Danny's standing in the middle of the alley, gun in hand, he finds himself praying for the umpteenth time that day that Steve for some reason doesn't show up, that something keeps him from stepping foot in this alley.

Five minutes later, just like his previous prayers, this one goes unanswered.

Danny's heart sinks the minute he sees Steve appear from around the corner; he closes his eyes, silently willing Steve to turn around and walk back in the direction he came from.

"Danny," Steve was in a full sprint towards his partner.

"Stop, stop, stop Steve listen to me," Danny cringed as he saw Steve recoil the moment he pointed the gun at him.

"Danny, what are you..."

The look of confusion on Steve's face was something Danny was never going to be able to wipe from his memory.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I have to, if I don't..." Danny felt like he was running out of air.

He could see the wheels turning in Steve's head and he knew that Steve had figured out what was going on.

" _His vest needs to come off NOW! Keep stalling and your precious little girl is dead!" Rick yelled into the earpiece._

Vest. Steve's vest. If this were any other scenario, Danny would've laughed at the irony; the one thing he always made sure to remind Steve to put on was the very thing Rick was forcing him to tell Steve to take off. Steve's safety was always on Danny's mind; his partner was so driven, so focused on catching their perps that Danny often took it upon himself to ensure that Steve wasn't being careless.

For a moment Danny just stood there, staring at his partner. In the 2 short years that he had known Steve, the SEAL had shown him the kind of friendship he only thought existed in movies and stories. He had never met anyone as devoted and loyal as his partner, a partner he would willingly take a bullet for, willingly die for without thinking twice, and here he was, pointing a gun, about to shoot and possibly kill that very same man. How was he supposed to go through with this, how was he supposed to kill someone he considered a brother.

Dreading the words he was about to say, Danny closed his eyes; the thought of seeing the understanding and acceptance in Steve's eyes was too much to bear.

"Take…take off your vest," when the words finally left his mouth, Danny could no longer hold back the tears as they started streaming down his face; each painstaking word cutting through him like a knife. He was asking his best friend to give his life for his daughter and he knew that Steve would do it without thinking twice.

Steve's heart broke as he finally locked eyes with Danny. He could see the turmoil and anguish that was clearly displayed in those blue eyes and he couldn't imagine being in Danny's shoes. He knew that if Danny thought he had any other choice he wouldn't be standing here right now pointing a gun at him.

"He's watching isn't he?" Steve started looking around at the building windows in the alley.

"I'm so sorry Steve, I'm so sorry, I can't...I...it's Grace Steve...he's going to kill her if I don't...I," Danny was finding it harder and harder to breathe. He was pointing a gun at the one person, other than Grace, who meant the world to him. Memories of the last two years of their friendship started to bombard his every thought; Steve paying for 3 nights at the Kahala hotel for him and Grace when they first met, Steve calling in a favor with the Governor to keep Grace on the island, Steve taking care of Grace after he was poisoned on a case, Steve standing by him and trusting him when he was trying to clear Meka's name. Memory after memory flooded in of the kind of man and the kind of friend Steve was.

"It's okay Danno...it's okay," Steve coaxed as he started to remove his vest, if there was more time he would try to stall, but he'd be damned if his stalling was the reason Grace ended up dead.

The use of the familiar nickname he only allowed Steve and Grace to call him by, accompanied by the sound of the Velcro snapping off Steve's vest, shattered any resolve Danny had left as he let out a loud sob. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare; he wanted all of this to be some cruel form of torture his warped imagination had conjured up during a night of restless sleep. He didn't want to have to kill his best friend in order to save his daughter.

" _Remember what I said, if you shoot him in the shoulder, Grace is dead, if you shoot him in the leg, Grace is dead, you make sure you shoot him in the chest or else Grace is dead!"_

When Steve and Danny locked eyes again, Steve knew it was time, he knew that Rick was in Danny's ear, he knew the minute he saw the earpiece on Danny.

Danny took a good look at his partner and the sad smile of acceptance Steve gave him, and the acceptance etched in those soulful eyes, made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't fair, Steve didn't deserve this, he was the best person Danny had ever known. He didn't deserve to be ambushed, he didn't deserve to be collateral damage, but most of all, he didn't deserve to be a bargaining chip...again. Steve's life was worth more than that, and Danny had worked so hard since the day they had met to instill that belief in Steve. When Jenna had ambushed him and handed him over to Wo Fat in exchange for her fiancé, it had taken Danny some time to help Steve through that, to help him see that he was worth more than that.

And now here he was, going back on everything he had worked so hard to instill in his stubborn partner. It completely crushed him that what Jenna did wouldn't even hold a candle to what he was about to do. He was Steve's best friend, which made this betrayal a hundred times worse than Jenna's ever could be.

Behind the stoic demeanour, Danny could see Steve's walls slightly crumbling, he could see a painful truth embedded in those determined eyes; the belief that his life wasn't worth much to anyone, that sacrificing him to save another wasn't a hard decision to make, and it broke Danny's heart that this time he was responsible for making Steve believe that.

The guilt Danny was feeling was starting to eat him alive and the gun in his hand instinctively started to drop.

" _I see you've made your choice kid, I'll be sure to drop by your daughter's funeral."_

Danny's heart plummeted.

"NO! NO RICK DON'T I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT!"

And just like that Danny's gun was up and trained at Steve once again.

"Steve...I'm so sorry."

 **TBC...**


	2. Bittersweet Rescue

**Thank you guys for all the lovely comments! So glad you're enjoying this little revamp :). Here's the next chapter!**

 **Chapter 2**

Danny experienced three things at once. First he felt the recoil of the gun as he pulled the trigger; it felt heavier than ever before, heavier than any other time he had had to fire his weapon. Second, he noticed the loud echo of the gunshot bouncing off the building walls in the alley; it seemed extra loud, almost as if a bomb had gone off. Finally, and this was the one that would haunt him for the rest of his life, he watched in horror as his partner's body jerked as the bullet embedded itself within Steve's chest. Danny watched on helplessly as Steve collapsed to the ground clutching his chest to cover the gunshot wound, trying his best to put pressure on it to slow down the bleeding.

Every instinct in him was crying out to run to his fallen partner, and for a moment he forgot about Rick hovering above watching his every move, as he stepped forward towards Steve.

" _One more step and your daughter's dead Williams!"_

Danny stopped dead in his tracks and it took everything in him to stay there. Steve's white shirt was quickly turning to a dark red and he watched as Steve struggled to keep pressure on the wound. He could hear Steve gasping for air and Danny's knees suddenly buckled at the realization that the bullet had hit Steve's lung, even though he had tried his best to avoid that. He also knew that Steve would quickly lose his battle with consciousness and he could do nothing but kneel there and watch.

Sob after heartbreaking sob wracked Danny's body as he placed his hands on the pavement and lowered his head. He couldn't bring himself to look up, he couldn't bring himself to watch as Steve struggled to breathe, struggled to stay alive, a mere feet in front of him.

" _How does it feel Danny, to watch your partner, your best friend, bleed out in front of you, pretty soon he'll probably start to choke on the blood," Rick laughed._

Danny was going to kill him. When all was said and done, he was going to kill Rick if it was the last thing he did. He didn't care about the repercussion, he didn't care if he would spend the rest of his life in jail, he was going to kill Rick, and he was going to enjoy doing it.

" _He's going to die Danny, and you were the one who – HANDS UP RICK! NOW! PUT YOUR GUN DOWN! DO IT NOW! DON'T MOVE!"_

Time seemed to have slowed once again as Danny heard the familiar voices; voices he would recognize anywhere. Chin and Kono had Rick which meant...

Without a second thought Danny rose to his feet and started racing towards Steve, sliding to his knees at the side of his fallen partner, praying that Kono or Chin had already dialed 911.

"Steve, Steve, babe, you gotta hang on okay," Danny covered the gunshot wound with his own hands as Steve's finally slid down to his sides. Danny's heart sunk as he watched and felt the warm blood seeping through the cracks of his fingers.

"Gr-Grace..."

Danny let out a sob; his partner's love for Grace never seized to amaze him.

"I'll get her back babe, I just need you to hang on okay, please just hang on, I'm so sorry Steve, I'm..." Danny let out another heartbreaking sob as he watched Steve struggle to breathe and stay conscious; his heart completely shattering when he felt Steve place his hand on top of his; even as he lay there dying he was trying to comfort Danny.

"N-not yo-ur faul-fault Danno, n-o choice, Gr-ace is the m-ost impo-rtant...al-alwa," Steve didn't get a chance to finish as his body was riddled by a series of vicious coughs; Danny stared on in horror as Steve started to cough up blood.

Danny slowly turned Steve to his side, not wanting him to choke on the blood. He could tell by the rasp in Steve's breathing that at least one of his lungs was starting to fill with blood; Danny had never felt so helpless in his life.

"Babe please hold on, I can't…I can't lose you…please."

Every second felt like an eternity and Steve's next words confirmed Danny's greatest fear; Steve knew he was dying too.

"Da-nno, you y-ou did, y-ou did the ri-right thing, n-ot your f-fault. I w-a-ant yo-u to know, you y-ou were the best, best p-artner I could've as-asked for, and the b-est friend…"

Danny cut him off not ready, or willing, to hear what Steve thought were his dying words.

"No no no no, no babe, you don't get to do this, you don't get to say goodbye!"

"Te-tell Gracie I l-love her okay," Steve could feel his lungs filling up with blood as it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"No! No Steven, you tell her yourself, you tell her yourself when you're better!" It terrified Danny that Steve was talking like this. His invincible, larger-than-life partner had been through so much over his lifetime, been in dire situations where he had to fight for his life and had always made it out in one piece, more or less. But right now, the fact that Steve was acting the way he was, instead of telling Danny that he was fine, that he would be okay, only proved further that Steve knew he didn't have much time.

"If-if I can-can't, you t-tell her o-okay. Tell M-Mary too."

Danny closed his eyes as more tears streamed down his face. After a few moments he nodded his head acknowledging Steve's request.

"It's goi-going to be o-okay, Da-Danno, you're go-going to be o-okay, I l-love you buddy."

Steve's words cut through Danny like a knife, how could Steve think that Danny losing him would ever be okay.

"I love you too Steve, please just stay with me," Danny became frantic as Steve's eyes started to close. "NO! STEVE! OPEN YOUR EYES BABE, please. I will not be okay! DO YOU HEAR ME! I will not be okay; you can't leave me…STEVE!"

Danny let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding as he saw Steve's eyes slowly open.

"That's it babe, that's it, just keep them open, Steve please just stay with me."

"Oh god Danny!" Danny hadn't even noticed Kono coming up behind him as she knelt down on the other side of Steve. "Boss you gotta hang on okay, an ambulance is on its way!"

Steve gave her a small smile before his body started to spasm from another round of vicious blood curling coughs.

Kono watched on in horror as Danny tried to ease Steve through the coughing attack. She looked up at Danny and her heart broke for the man. As painful as this was for her to see, she couldn't imagine what this was doing to Danny. Danny and Steve had a special bond, everyone who had ever met the pair could instantly tell. Rick had also filled them in on what he had made Danny do, and Kono knew that if Steve didn't make it, they were going to lose Danny too.

* * *

The next 5 minutes were a flurry of events; the paramedics had arrived just as Steve had lost his battle with consciousness.

"His pulse is extremely weak, we need to get this blood out of his lungs now!" the younger paramedic yelled as they moved Kono and Danny out of the way. Usually Danny would've fought to stay by Steve's side but he knew that in the state Steve was in, every second counted, so he allowed himself to be cast aside, a mere spectator to the horrific scene unfolding in front of him.

Danny felt like he couldn't breathe as he watched the paramedics work on Steve. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and through the haze that had engulfed Danny's mind, the one thing that stuck out more than anything was the amount of blood in front of him. Blood on the pavement, blood on the paramedics, blood on him, blood on Kono, and all of it, every single drop of it, belonged to Steve.

Danny wasn't sure how long it took from the time they arrived to the time they had Steve stabilized enough to transport him, but the paramedics were finally loading his partner into the ambulance.

Danny wanted nothing more than to go with Steve, if this were any other situation nothing and no one could have kept him out of that ambulance, but he still had to find Grace.

"Don't worry brah, I won't leave his side," Kono gave Danny's shoulder a reassuring squeeze as she saw the turmoil in her second boss's eyes.

"Thank you," Danny gave Kono a small smile, grateful that Steve wouldn't be alone.

Kono jumped into the ambulance with Steve just as Chin walked out of one of the building with Rick in custody.

The minute Danny saw Rick, every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than to kill him, to stop his heart right then and there, but he needed to know where Grace was first.

"Where is she," Danny's voice was calm but lethal, putting aside his fear for Steve, Danny was concentrating on getting his little girl home safe; Steve's sacrifice would not be for nothing.

Rick stood there with a grin on his face. The blood smeared all over Danny's clothes and covering his hands satisfied Rick but it was the utter devastation in Danny's eyes that brought him pure unadulterated joy. He was certain that there was no way Steve could survive that gunshot wound, especially not after the length of time it took for him to get medical attention. The thought of Danny being haunted by Steve's death for rest of his life made him happier than he could've ever imagined.

Danny could see the satisfaction written all over Rick's face and he realized that he didn't even want to shoot Rick, no that would be too quick, he wanted to walk over there and beat the smug smile off his face and keep beating him until he was nothing more than a bloody corpse.

Grace.

Danny had enough sense to realize that he needed to put his hatred, his anger, his guilt, and his pain aside, for now, until he found out where Grace was. Danny looked Rick dead in the eyes, took out his gun and shot his left knee. The scream that it elicited from his former training officer gave him a small sense of satisfaction as he marched over and grabbed him by the neck, pinning him to the ground.

"The next one is in your head! Where is my daughter!"

* * *

Chin and Danny raced over to the shipping containers with HPD and Paramedics in tow. The moment Danny heard Grace's voice his heart started to race. Once they had the container opened and made their way to Grace Danny grabbed onto her not wanting to let her go.

As he carried his baby girl out of the container Rachel had just pulled up, running towards them, sobbing as she hugged Grace and Danny.

As relieved and overjoyed as Danny was at having Grace safe and sound in his arms, his mind immediately went back to Steve's lifeless body on the gurney.

After a few minutes of hugging Grace, Rachel took Danny's hand.

"Daniel, I'll take her home, you need to be with Steve." Her heart broke for her ex-husband. HPD had filled her in on what had happened, what Rick had made Danny do in order to save Grace. Rachel prayed that Steve made it out of this alive because she knew that if he didn't, if Steve died because of this, she and Grace were going to lose Danny too.

Her mother's words caught Grace's attention as she immediately looked at her father.

"Is Uncle Steve hurt?"

The concern and panic in her voice was so sincere that it made Danny's heart ache; he wanted to say something, anything to silence the fear he knew was growing inside his daughter but found himself choking on the words. How could he console her when he felt like he was completely broken himself. Rachel squeezed Danny's hand, she could see the anguish in his face and it was nothing short of devastating. Rachel held onto Danny's hand as she looked at Grace.

"Yes sweetheart, Uncle Steve's been hurt, he's in the hospital."

Grace's eyes quickly filled with tears.

"But he's going to be okay right Danno?"

The raw emotion in his daughter's voice pushed him over the edge as a strangled sob escaped him. Danny looked away and took a moment to compose himself, wiping the tears off his face before he turned to his daughter.

"I hope so monkey."

"You have to go be with him Danno, Uncle Steve needs you, I'll be okay, I'll be with mommy."

Danny let out another sob as he grabbed Grace into a hug. He was so proud of his baby girl; she was so brave, so compassionate, so loyal, she actually reminded him a lot of Steve. He wondered if Grace knew how much her granting him permission to go be with Steve meant. With those words she had absolved him of any guilt he would've felt at leaving her side after everything she had been through. Grace loved Steve just as much as Steve loved her and Danny was so grateful for that.

* * *

As Danny and Chin ran through the hospital doors of the Emergency Room they could see Kono down the hall with her head in her hands.

Danny instantly froze as a sudden feeling of dread washed over him. Why was her head in her hands, why did she look like she had just received the worst possible news? He imagined walking over to her only to hear that Steve had died on the way to the hospital or that Steve had died on the operating table. Danny finally snapped out of his trance when he felt Chin's hand on his shoulder.

"Don't do that to yourself brah, don't go there."

Chin swallowed the lump in his throat as Danny looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"C'mon," Chin nodded towards Kono.

Each step towards Kono felt heavy, it felt like his feet were weighed down, and as much as he wanted to ask about Steve, the thought of hearing that Steve hadn't made it was too much to bear. He had watched his partner bleed out for several minutes before the paramedics even got there, he had held onto his Steve helplessly as he coughed up blood and fought to stay alive.

As Kono stood up to hug them Danny tried to prepare himself for the worst…

"He's still in surgery."

Danny just stood there staring at Kono. Steve was still alive…for now. Kono could see the fear in Danny's eyes and she wanted to offer him any sort of solace.

"Danny he's still alive okay, he's still in there and he's got the best team of surgeons working on him. Steve's a fighter; he's going to be okay."

Danny could see Kono's lips moving, he knew that she was talking to him but he couldn't hear a word she was saying. All he could hear were the ragged breathes escaping his best friend's lips as he struggled to breathe, struggled to speak, struggled to stay conscious, he was back in that alley, watching Steve slowly die. Suddenly everything became fuzzy; Kono's face was a blur, as was everything else around him. Within seconds Danny's knees buckled as he b-lined to the floor.

"Whoa Danny!" Kono and Chin yelled in unison as they quickly grabbed him before he hit the ground, lowering him onto the chair behind him. Danny was completely drained. The adrenaline from the last few hours had finally run its course and all that was left of Danny was a broken mess.

"Danny you need to get checked out," Chin looked on concerned.

"No, I'm fine."

"You're not fine Danny! You just collapsed!" Kono chimed in.

Danny scoffed.

"Guess that's what happens when you're waiting to find out if your best friend survives you shooting him," Danny looked at the ground.

"Danny this isn't your fault. You didn't have a choice." Kono had tears in her eyes as she tried to get through to Danny.

Danny shook his head. "You sound like Steve."

"Well Steve is right! You don't get to blame yourself for this, do you hear me! This is on Peterson, not you!"

Danny was too tired to argue; not that arguing would have done him any good. They would never see this situation for what it truly was; an act of betrayal. He had sacrificed his partner to save someone else he loved, granted it was Grace – his entire world, but that didn't matter, in his mind, what he did was unforgivable. Even, if by some miracle, Steve made it out of this alive, Danny was never going to be able to forgive himself. He would also never be able to get the haunting images of today out of his mind; Steve collapsing to the ground as the bullet careened into his chest, Steve fighting for his life as he bled out, gasping for air as he tried not to drown on the blood pooling into his lungs.

 _"It's goi-going to be o-okay, Da-Danno, you're go-going to be o-okay, I l-love you buddy."_

Steve's words would forever haunt him. Danny hung his head as an overwhelming sense of despair settled in, he didn't know how anything would ever be okay again, especially if Steve didn't make it.

Kono looked at Chin as they exchanged worried glances. Danny wasn't talking back, he wasn't fighting back, he looked completed defeated and broken. They had never seen Danny like this and they prayed that Steve would make it through the surgery, because if he didn't, they knew that they would lose them both.

 **TBC...**


	3. Pinky Swear

**Hey everyone! So sorry this took awhile, I had surgery and have been out of commission for awhile but I'm back! I should have the next chapter up this week. Thank you all for the amazing comments, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to everyone.**

 **Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy :).**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Danny sat staring at the double doors that led to the room where they were working on Steve. He could hear doctors and nurses running around in the room and he was losing his mind sitting outside. No one had come out to give them an update on Steve's condition, and with no distractions, his mind kept running through the events of the day like a broken record, painstaking detail by painstaking detail.

He didn't know how long he had been in his own head before he felt Chin and Kono shift beside him. As he looked up to see why they were standing he could see the doctor covered in blood standing in front of them; Steve's blood.

"Is he alive?" Danny jumped out of his seat, the desperation in his voice and eyes clearly displayed for all to see.

"Are you Detective Williams?"

"Yeah, is my partner alive?" Danny asked desperately again.

"He is, however, we've run into a complication."

Danny's heart sunk.

"What kind of complication?"

"Ideally in a situation like this, because of the placement of the bullet, we would want to operate right away and remove it, however Commander McGarrett is much too weak for surgery due to all the blood he lost and the amount of time it took to get him help."

Danny swallowed the lump in his throat as the images of him kneeling on the ground watching Steve bleed out as precious minutes went by kept flooding his memory. This was all his fault.

"Now we thought we could wait till morning, give him some time to get a bit stronger before operating on him," the doctor continued dragging Danny out of his own head and back to the present. "However, from our latest scans the bullet seems to have shifted and is dangerously close to his heart. If this bullet enters his heart, he can bleed internally and die before we even get a chance to open him up."

The trio stared at the doctor in disbelief and heartbreak. They all knew how volatile a bullet embedded inside a body was, they had seen it time and time again on the job.

"I'm really sorry, all of you, but Detective, as Commander McGarrett's emergency contact we need to ask you to decide whether we operate now, or wait till the morning."

Danny stared at the doctor in disbelief; he couldn't be hearing right. Steve's life was in his hands...again. How was he supposed to make this choice?

Danny sat down on the chair behind him letting everything the doctor was saying sink in. After a few minutes he finally spoke.

"So if we operate now, when he's still really weak, he could die from the trauma of the surgery, but if we wait till morning when he's stronger he could die overnight if the bullet moves and enters his heart?"

Danny's shaky voice and the turmoil behind every word he spoke broke Kono and Chin's hearts. Not only had Danny been put in an unimaginable position earlier today, he was being put in yet another one right now; having Steve's life in his hands in both cases.

"That's correct Detective, both have their risks. I'll leave you alone to think about this, but please be quick; if we're going to operate we need to do it soon."

Danny just nodded as the doctor walked away, eyes still firming locked on the speck of dirt by his feet, hands still shaking uncontrollably.

"Danny, whatever you decide brah, we're behind you 100%," Kono sat beside Danny as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

Danny looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

"How am I supposed to choose between these two options when either one could end up killing him? What if I choose surgery now and he dies when waiting till morning would have been the best option, or what if I wait till the morning but he dies overnight because the bullet entered his heart?"

The desperation and pain radiating off Danny was almost too much to bear for the cousins.

"Danny," it was Chin's turn now. "You know Steve better than anyone, what would he want you to do in this situation? If Steve was awake and able to make this choice for himself, what would he choose?"

Danny looked up at Chin and then back at the ground running a tired hand down his face. He knew exactly what Steve would want, and he would want the same thing.

"He'd want the surgery now, he wouldn't want to wait and leave it to chance, he'd rather go into surgery with capable doctors than wait to see if the bullet may or may not enter his heart."

Chin smiled a sad smile.

"There you go brah, you have your answer, and for what it's worth, it's what I would want if I was in Steve's shoes."

Danny looked up at Chin and returned the sad smile, "Me too."

* * *

Within minutes of telling the doctor his choice, they were prepping Steve for surgery. Kono, Chin, and Danny each had a few minutes to speak to Steve before they were going to wheel him away to the operating room.

Chin and Kono decided to go in first, telling Danny that his voice should be the last voice Steve hears before surgery.

"Hey Boss, Chin's here with me. We know you can hear us, so we need you to fight okay, we all love you so much so we need you to make it through this surgery and come back to us like you always do," a tearful Kono begged.

"You know Danny's a mess about all of this, and I think you know better than anyone what will happen to him if you don't make it out of this surgery. So if you can't do it for yourself, please do it for him," Chin knew if there was any way to get Steve to fight like he's never fought before, this was it. The bond those two shared was indescribable and if Steve could spare Danny any pain, emotional or physical, he would do it. "We can't lose you both Steve and that's what will happen if you die, so you fight, do you hear me, you fight and bring both of you back to us."

* * *

Danny looked back at the double doors as the pit in his stomach grew. He knew the cousins would be coming out soon which meant he would have to go in. But what was he supposed to say to Steve? What do you say to your best friend when you sacrifice his life? What do you say to him as he lay there fighting to live because of you? Do you tell him to fight? Fight to come back to a world where everyone he loves betrays him? Danny would never in a million years have thought that he would've been a part of that pathetic disgraceful group of people, but here he was, probably the worst culprit of all; he knew he didn't deserve a friend like Steve.

Danny was so lost in his world of self hatred that he didn't even hear the cousins coming out of the room until Kono placed her hand on his shoulder.

Danny stood up and took a deep breath trying to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see, but as he walked into Steve's room he knew that nothing could have prepared him for this.

He instinctively froze as he saw Steve lying on the bed, covered in blood, hooked onto what seemed like every machine the hospital owned. He stared at his partner for a few minutes before he walked up to his bedside and took Steve's hand in his.

"H-hey Steve," Danny's voice was a lot shakier than he would have liked. "Hey buddy I know I have no right to ask you for anything, I know...I know I lost any rights I had when I did what I did, but, Steve, I need you to make it out of this surgery okay, I need you to make it and come back to us. This is not how the great Steve McGarrett goes out do you hear me. I...I can't be the one..."

 _I can't be the one who takes you out._

With that thought Danny's chest started to rise and fall quickly as he tried to hold in every heartbreaking sob threatening to explode out of him.

"I am so sorry for everything. Please Steve," Danny couldn't hold it in anymore as the tears started pooling down his face. As much as he hated himself, as much as he knew he had no right to even be in the same room as Steve, he had to let his partner know what he meant to him, he needed to tell him how much he loved him because those were the things the doctor had told them would help pull Steve through the surgery.

"I need you to fight; I need you to give this everything you have and then some. I know this is selfish of me, especially since...especially since I put you here, but I can't lose you. Despite what you may think I won't be okay without you, do you hear me, I won't be me, I won't know who I am if I lose you. You came into my world and you completely turned it upside down, and I know that sounds like a cheesy line from a love story but I mean it. You changed my life Steve, your friendship changed my life, I can't picture my world without my best friend in it, so please don't leave me. Grace needs you, Kono and Chin need you...I need you. Please Steve, just...please...don't leave me, not like this...not now."

Danny heard the doors open and turned around to see the surgeon and his team waiting. Danny knew it was time to leave but not before he reminded Steve of a conversation they had had last week.

"Last week you made me promise, no actually you made me pinky swear," Danny actually let out a little laugh at the memory, remembering his reaction when Steve actually said the words pinky swear, it was about the same reaction as when Steve had called him "boo boo".

"You made me pinky swear that when I retire I would buy a place right beside yours so that we could grow old together with our families. You made me pinky swear and no matter what side of the pinky swear you're on, you have to stick to it. So you have to make it through this surgery Steve, you're bound by the pinky swear, and besides, I know you would hate it if I told Grace you broke a pinky swear." Danny smiled as he envisioned how this conversation would have gone had Steve been conscious.

The nostalgia was short lived as Danny's smile disappeared once he heard one of the nurses coughing behind him; reality setting in and reminding him why he was even bringing up a candid moment from a week ago. With a deep breath Danny squeezed Steve's hand one last time.

"I love you Steve, I'll see you when you wake up."

Danny let go of Steve's hand and walked towards the double doors, turning around one last time, praying that what he said was enough to pull Steve through the surgery.

 **TBC...**


	4. Doppelganger

_1 Week Post-Surgery_

It had been a week since Steve had been released from the hospital but the pit inside Danny's stomach would not subside. He still couldn't remember a lot of what went on in the hospital, a lot of it seemed like a blur. But the thing he could remember were the panic attacks he had had as he waited to find out if Steve had made it through surgery.

Six hours. Steve was in surgery for six hours; the longest six hours of Danny's life. Not only was he the reason that Steve was in there, but he had also had to make a decision that could have possibly killed his best friend on the operating table. So when the surgeon came out telling them that Steve's surgery was a success and that they had removed the bullet with no complications, Danny had collapsed into a chair, thanking any higher being that would listen. Kono had started crying too as the cousins made their way to either side of Danny, telling him that everything was going to be okay.

How wrong they would soon find out they were.

* * *

 _2 Months Post-Surgery_

Nightmares had been keeping Danny up for weeks. He would wake up almost every night sweating and screaming Steve's name; the horrific events of the alley playing over and over in his mind.

Steve had tried to talk to him a few times but had eventually backed off, knowing that Danny would speak to him when he was ready and willing; for that, Danny was grateful. Danny had also been attending mandatory therapy sessions, which he thought were a complete waste of time at first, but as the sessions progressed, he had realized how important and necessary they were.

He had really thought that he was starting to deal with everything. He was opening up more in therapy and the nightmares had lessened substantially. He felt like he was finally starting to get his feet under him again, that was, until their most recent case.

Steve and Danny had been following up on some leads with their latest case, but when Kono had told them to return to headquarters because they had a new lead, they did just that.

"What do we got?" Steve asked as he pushed open the double doors and made his way over to the cousins, with Danny in tow.

"Lance Markstrom, turns out he was the last guy to see our vic, not Julie as we originally thought."

"Whoa," Danny froze as he looked up at the pic. "Does anyone else see what I'm seeing?"

Chin laughed as he looked over at Danny.

"Steve's doppelganger right, Kono and I thought the same thing."

Steve looked at all of the incredulously.

"He does not look like me."

All three detectives looked over at Steve.

"Okay fine, maybe he looks a little like me, but I am definitely WAY more handsome, his jaw line is not defined," Steve smiled in satisfaction.

"Neither is yours babe," Danny smirked as the cousins laughed.

"You're just jealous Danno."

Danny squinted and locked eyes with his partner.

"And what could I possibly be jealous of, hm?

"Me and my good looks."

Danny scoffed.

"Right, cause of all the things in this world that I could be jealous of, I would choose to be jealous of something that isn't even true."

"You guys really are worse than a married couple," Kono quipped as she shook her head.

Danny laughed and Steve couldn't help but smile as he stared at his partner. The last few weeks had been tough on everyone, especially Danny. The guilt over what he had had to do to Steve had been eating away at him and everyone knew it. But the last few days, Danny had started to act more like his normal self, and for that, Steve was grateful. Steve snapped out of his train of thought as he heard Kono speaking.

"He has a pretty extensive rap sheet, multiple burglaries, multiple assaults, he's out on parole right now."

"Great, thanks Kono," Steve said as he turned to Danny. "Let's go pick this guy up."

* * *

*Knock knock*

"Lance Markstrom, this if Five-O, open up."

*Silence*

*Knock knock*

"Markstrom, ope-" Steve was cut off by the sound of a window being smashed.

"He's running!" Steve kicked down the door as Danny ran to the side of the house.

Danny could see Markstrom up ahead and yelled for him to stop.

"Stop! Five-O."

Markstrom didn't stop and instead rounded a corner into a junk yard. Danny slowed down as he entered the junk yard, being vigilant of all the places Markstrom could be hiding.

"There's no way out Lance, just put your gun down and no one has to get hu-" Danny's sentence was cut off as a bullet hit the car frame above his head.

"Shit," Danny ducked.

Just as he did this he could see Markstrom's feet under a truck and with one shot he heard a yelp.

Danny got up and ran over to their downed suspect. As he rounded the corner, gun up, he saw Markstrom lying in a pool of blood. Danny froze; Markstrom looked even more like Steve in person.

Suddenly everything Danny thought that he had been dealing with, everything he thought he had gotten passed, came crashing down around him. He was no longer looking at their suspect; he was looking at his partner, bleeding out in front of him, from a bullet that he had shot.

He had shot Steve again.

As Danny's hands started to shake, his gun began to lower and Markstrom took this opportunity to reach for his own gun, which lay inches from his hand. Danny was so consumed by guilt that he didn't even notice Markstrom's reach, didn't notice how a gun was now pointing right at his chest. Danny was frozen in place, he couldn't move, couldn't react.

Suddenly a gunshot rang out and he snapped out of his trance.

The blood had now reached his shoes as he noticed a new bullet hole in their suspect. Danny looked up as he locked eyes with Steve; the horrified look on his partner's face reaffirming just how badly he had messed up.

* * *

Steve and Danny barely spoke for the next few minutes. The coroner came to pick up the body and Steve knew there would be a lot of paper work for this one. But that was the least of his concerns right now. Danny had froze, he had a suspect pinned down, advantage on his side, and he had completely froze. If he hadn't happened to be in the right place at the right time, Danny would be dead right now.

"What the hell happened back there Danny?" Steve finally broke the silence in the car.

"I don't know," Danny said, his voice still shaky from the shock of what had just happened.

"You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?" Steve tried his best to hide his frustration but he couldn't help the anger rising inside him. Danny could have died today and it would've been his own fault.

"I don't know means I don't know Steven!" Danny raised his tone to match that of Steve's as he stared daggers into his partner.

"You could've died today, do you get that?! You froze Danny, and I wanna know why!"

"Back off Steve!"

Steve looked over at Danny and was about to rip into him when he noticed how completely drained his partner looked. He knew his frustration and his worry for Danny was hiding behind the anger he was displaying as he yelled in Danny's face, but he knew that it was only making things worse, only pushing Danny further away from opening up.

"What are you doing?" Danny looked at the gravel road to the side that Steve was pulling on to.

Steve turned the engine off, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to Danny.

"What's going on with you Danny?" This time there was no anger behind the question, just pure, honest, heart-on-the-sleeve concern. "If I didn't get there when I did, you'd be dead right now."

Danny just looked out the window unable and unwilling to make eye contact with Steve.

"Danny, talk to me man."

Danny closed his eyes as the bile rose to his throat.

"Alright, well, we're not going anywhere until you talk to me so it's your choice partner, we can sit here in silence, or you can tell me what's up with you."

Danny knew that Steve wasn't kidding around; he knew that Steve would actually sit there for hours if he had to in order to get him to talk.

After five minutes of contemplation, realizing there was no way around this conversation; Danny finally decided to open up to Steve.

"He looked like you."

Steve turned his gaze to Danny.

"What?" Steve stared intently at his partner and when Danny finally made eye contact Steve was speechless at the amount of anguish and pain in those blue eyes.

"Markstrom, he looked like you."

Steve cocked his head back a little.

"Yeah but what does tha-" Steve stopped mid-sentence as a light bulb went off in his head. Steve closed his eyes in realization.

"Oh Danno."

"I thought it was getting better, I know it was getting better," Danny started, frustration evident in his voice.

Steve sat quietly knowing now that Danny had started talking the flood gates were about to open.

"I barely slept the first few weeks after it happened," Danny swallowed the lump in his throat. "Not for a lack of trying, I tried to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes I was back in that alley, pointing my gun at you, telling you...telling you to take your vest off...shooting you. It played like a loop over and over and over again. I'd see you laying there bleeding out, struggling to breathe. I'd see your shirt covered in blood and the blood left on the pavement after the paramedics had put you onto the stretcher. I couldn't make it stop."

"Danny..." Steve found himself at a loss for words. He had a feeling it was about that but he didn't want to push his partner, wanted to let him deal with it on his own terms.

"But the last two weeks it had gotten better, the nightmares only occurred a few times. I was finally getting some sleep and I thought I was getting passed it. And then we get this case," Danny continued knowing that if he didn't keep going he would completely shut down again. "And Markstrom looked so much like you. I didn't think much of it until he was right in front of me. The minute I had my gun trained on him I was right back in that alley and I didn't see him anymore, I just saw you. I saw you in a pool of blood, I saw my gun being pointed at you...again."

Steve sighed as his expression softened.

"Danny...look man, I get it okay, trust me I do. But you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened in that alley."

Danny shook his head.

"It's not even about blame Steve, I know what Peterson did, I know the position he put me in. But that doesn't change the fact that I shot you...you, my best friend! I can't get those images out of my head. I can't get what I did to you out of my head. I almost killed you, I'm no better than Jenna," Danny shook his head in disgust as he looked out the window.

This was no longer just about Markstrom, this was weeks of pent up guilt spilling over.

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat at the mention of that woman's name. He still had occasional nightmares about North Korea.

"Danny those are two completely different situations."

"How Steve? Huh? How is what I did any better than what Jenna did? She sacrificed you thinking she would get her fiancé back and I...I did the same thing thinking that I would get Grace back. So tell me, how the hell is what I did any different than what Jenna did."

Danny was a mess.

"Well for one, I love Gracie too. I would sacrifice myself any day for her, regardless of if I had a choice or not. If you had told me on the phone that you needed me to meet you in the alley because Peterson wanted you to shoot me in order to get Gracie back, I would've still come. You did the right thing Danny."

Danny looked at his partner and knew that Steve meant every word, and that somehow made him feel worse. Steve willingly gives and gives and has been taken advantage of and lied to more times than Danny could count. Steve was always the sacrifice, always the one who suffered, and it wasn't fair.

"Of course you think I did the right thing, you're always so willing to be the martyr, but it's not fair. It's not fair," Danny shook his head as tears filled his eyes. "You...you're the best person I know Steve, you don't deserve any of this."

Steve nodded.

"You're right Danno, I don't, but neither do you. You think I'm the one who suffered in all this? Look at yourself man, if you want to feel sorry for anyone feel sorry for yourself. Peterson put you through hell, and weeks after everything went down he's still putting you through hell. This is EXACTLY what he wants Danny, he wants to ruin your life, and you're playing right into his hands. He could've got you killed today, don't give him that power."

Danny stared intently at his partner, he had never looked at it that way and he knew Steve was right.

"I'm okay Danno, yea you shot me, but I'm alive, and you know what, so is Grace! How many times have you saved my life Danno, huh? How many times have you had my six? This one situation that was forced on you does not define anything. You're letting him win right now. He's behind bars and he's still winning, imagine the satisfaction he would feel if he knew what happened today."

Danny looked away from Steve and stared out the windshield as he sighed. Steve could never know how he felt, would never know what it felt like to aim a gun at your brother and pull the trigger. But he also knew that Steve was right, he was letting Peterson win by not dealing with what happened, with every nightmare, with every "incident", Peterson was winning, and he'd be damned if he let that happen.

As Steve watched Danny he could see a slight shift in his partner's eyes. Some of the anguish he had seen before seemed to have been replaced by anger.

"You're right, that bastard."

Steve smiled knowing that he was finally getting through to his partner.

"He is a bastard, and he's tortured you enough, it ends now."

Danny looked back at Steve nodding his head. This is what he had needed. No shrink or therapist can ever do what his best friend could do.

Danny took a good hard look at his best friend. Steve was alive and sitting right beside him. Peterson didn't win, and he was never going to.

"But Danno," Steve swallowed, worried how Danny was going to take this next part. "I need you to take some time off. What happened with Markstrom cannot happen again. If it happens again, I might not be there and I can't risk that."

Danny nodded, he knew this was coming, and a part of him was grateful. He still had a lot to deal with and maybe a week or two off wouldn't be the worst thing.

"Beer? My place?"

Steve looked over as a huge grin spread across his face. It was nice to see Danny finally smile a sincere smile.

"Definitely Danno, paper work can wait till tomorrow."

Danny smiled as he looked out the window. For the first time in weeks he felt a little lighter, felt like he could breathe a little easier. Steve was okay, Grace was okay, and he was going to be okay. Danny looked over at Steve; he had no idea how he got so lucky to know someone like Steve, let alone to have such a man as his best friend.

The fact that Peterson had come so close to taking all of that away terrified Danny, but the fact that he had failed gave him a sense of comfort. Danny knew that it would be awhile before the nightmares stopped but he finally believed that they eventually would.

He took one last look at his partner and then turned to look out the window; he couldn't wait to have that beer.

 **The End**


End file.
